“You Get What You Expect” – Setting the Bar for Success | 143

Today, I want to dive into a mindset that has made a massive difference in my teaching—and honestly, in the way I live my life: “You get what you expect.”

It’s a phrase that has shaped how I approach my students, how I run my music room, and even how I challenge myself to grow as an educator. So in this episode, we’re going to unpack that idea, look at where it comes from, and explore how it plays out in real classrooms—and maybe even your own mindset.

Why does this matter?
Because expectations are powerful. They don’t just influence how we see others—they actually shape behavior, performance, and even confidence.

If you expect excellence, growth, and effort—you’re far more likely to see it.

So let’s dig in, reflect a little, and hopefully walk away with a clearer idea of how we can set the bar for success—starting with ourselves.

Where to find me: 

Crescendo Community Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/crescendocommunity
Official Crescendo Page: https://www.facebook.com/CrescendoMusicEd/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/CrescendoMusicEd
Twitter: https://twitter.com/crescendomusic
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbie-o-shea-62a3741b/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/CrescendoDeb

Introduction

Here is the Crescendo Music Education Podcast – Episode 143.

This podcast is being recorded on the lands of the Turrbal people. I acknowledge them as the traditional owners of the land and pay my respects to elders past, present and emerging. They were the first music makers on this land.

If you’d prefer to listen to this episode, click here!

About ‘Read the Episode’: Sometimes, we would rather skim visually than listen to a podcast! That’s a great way to learn too!
The transcript of episode 143 of The Crescendo Music Education Podcast is below.

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Debbie O’Shea 

Let’s have a look at a couple of little personal reflections on how I’ve seen this in action in my classroom. The first thing is, day one sets expectations. The students need to know what your expectations are right from the beginning, in order for them to make choices, or, shall we say, the best choices.

If they don’t know what’s allowable and what your expectations are, well of course you’re going to get lots of kids that aren’t making the right decisions, but they don’t even know that. You’ve got to set your expectations. So in the music classroom, I expect children to sing. In here we sing, oh, it’s your turn to sing. It’s just what we do. The expectation is set. It’s not really a big issue with your young children. So if you’ve been at a school for a while, it’s not often a problem.

The Expectation

If you expect children to sing, and you always have, they just do. It’s as natural as walking and talking, with exceptions, of course, but generally, that expectation can be met quite easily. You do run into a little problem or two when you start at a school, you’re new, the older children are not used to singing. Perhaps you’re taking over from a music teacher that did a lot of playing and very little or no singing. Then suddenly you’re asking 10/11 year olds to sing in front of people, and they’re going, you want me to what? So you might set that expectation, but that’s going to be a lot harder.

That is a different thing. You will have to build those skills and confidence very slowly. They’re not just going to do it straight away, but younger children tend to sing more readily, and once you’ve set that expectation, that’s it, they just sing. I know when I handed over my lovely, heartfelt program at my previous school to another teacher, I could confidently say, Oh, they will just sing. All of the children will just sing. I get what I expect. I expect them to sing. They sing, done.

Debbie O’Shea 

I expect effort. I expect them to do their best and to strive. I don’t expect A’s. I don’t expect performance of excellence. I just expect their best, and over time, the students will know that. They will know that you just want them to do their best, whether their best is a C standard, whether their best is even a D standard, I don’t care, as long as they’re doing their best. They soon learn that that is your expectation, and they’re happy to give you their best. I expect respect, I give respect. I think that’s actually really important. That’s a bit of a side note.

You can’t expect respect if you’re not giving it. So modeling is a big part of this, too, but I do expect the students to respect me and respect the other students. They know that from the moment they walk in. I never ever accept students laughing at other students, with, sure, I love telling jokes and we have funny moments all the time. Laughter is actually, I think, one of the little gems of the music classroom, but not to laugh at someone’s efforts. So I just expect that and they know.

When we’re looking at these specific examples of getting what you expect, part of it is around the tone and the delivery. It’s actually not just what you say you’ll expect, but it’s how you communicate that. Are you very clear with your expectations? Are you encouraging? Do you hold students accountable? We always support each other; we always respect each other. So just keep that in mind. Communicate it clearly. And I think the way you communicate your expectations is through actions as much as words.

Expectations Set Too High

Debbie O’Shea 

There’s a little bit you’ve got to be careful of here with high expectations and realistic growth. I have had some students that I mean, particularly if we’re looking at students with special needs, perhaps with intellectual impairment, some sort of physical different ability, you can’t expect exactly the same thing.

You can expect the best from them, but just make sure you’re not setting the bar so high that they can’t reasonably reach those expectations, because you’ll build the discouragement and the feeling of self worth will go through the floor, like be realistic, high expectations. Do their best, but realistic growth. Be consistent.

You must be consistent. If students are not allowed to just get up and hit a xylophone or strum a ukulele, then you don’t let them do that like ever. Oh, it’s all right if it’s this, no, you’ve got to have consistent standards, demand them meeting those standards, and don’t accept anything else.

I know that sounds awful. I don’t mean to sound like that, but I think you do need to have really consistent rules and expectations and then children can thrive working within those. They need to know your expectations in order to be creative within the expectations. So let’s look at this in your teaching. If you just reflect at the moment on your situation. Are you expecting more or enough from your students, or are you assuming some limits that maybe aren’t there.

If you’re part of a team, like your instrumental team, or there might be other music teachers if you’re lucky, do you have expectations within your team and do you have these expectations clear for everybody? And also reflect upon your own expectations, are the expectations of yourself lifting you up or holding you back? Because you get what you expect applies to you as well.

Expecting From Yourself

Debbie O’Shea 

In fact, as much as anyone, more than anyone, it applies to yourself. So this saying you get what you expect is very useful for setting personal or professional goals. I use it all the time when writing a book, for example, for the first time, I’m going to get what I expect. I am a writer. I’m an author.

I have something to say of importance. I expect this of myself. Is it hard? Yes. Do I always feel like this? No, not really, but I’m using it to set these professional goals, these personal goals. I set the goal I expected of myself and I will get there. Of course, you use it for motivating students, you get what you expect. For overcoming imposter syndrome. Oh boy oh boy. I have had to overcome imposter syndrome in so many ways over time and still all the time.

But I expect success and I’m going to get there, even if it takes me a bit longer, or perhaps the results are not as brilliant as others. But I’m expecting success and I am going to get it, so I’m going to overcome this impostor syndrome. All right, what you have to be careful of is when this saying does not apply and that’s if your expectations aren’t matched with support and tools for success.

So you suddenly expect a student to be brilliant on the recorder when they’ve only just started and they don’t have a lot of fine motor dexterity, you need to set up support tools for success and help them to attain their expectations and also don’t put unrealistic pressure. Don’t expect perfection. Keep going for progress. That’s the other danger when you set expectations. Yes, I want this, but you know what? We’re on the way to that, that is good enough.

Debbie O’Shea 

So let’s have a quick recap. You get what you expect. If you expect growth, respect and effort, that is what you will see. If you expect mediocrity, you’ll get that too. The way you set expectations in the classroom or for yourself, shapes the outcome. So my challenge for you lovely listeners is, where in your life are your expectations shaping the results? Are you expecting enough from your students, the people that you work with, or even yourself?

Can you add a little clarity around your expectations? Could you expect a little more of your students or of yourself in a nice, supportive way? So just take a little time to think about how that would apply to you. I would love to hear from you. If there’s an area where setting expectations has made a difference to you, please let me know. Shoot me an email, as usual, on in**@***********om.au or on Facebook, I hang out there a bit.

I’m doing my best to hang out on Instagram a bit more and on the other socials, but Facebook is still where I am most of the time. I’d love to hear your thoughts. And I have another mantra coming up for the next episode, where we’re talking about mindsets and these little sayings that might support you in your journey as a music educator.

Sign-Off

Thank you for joining me for this podcast. Don’t forget, you’ll find the show notes and transcript and all sorts of information on crescendo.com.au. If you’ve enjoyed the podcast or found it valuable, you might like to rate it on your podcast player and leave a review. I’d really appreciate it if you did. All I can be as the best version of me. All you can do is be the best you. Until next time, bye.

Just for Laughs

As we know, laughter relieves stress, don’t lose sight of the funny side of life.
You do know why ghosts are bad liars, don’t you? That’s because you can see right through them.